A Lamborghini Gallardo doesn't work. Nor does a Ford Mustang or a Lincoln Blackwood—despite what the owner might say.
Our everyday vehicles are designed to whisk us around, latte in hand, to the next Chipotle, Apple Store, or Burning Man. To be parked. Shown off at Cars & Coffee. Snaked through a canyon road.
With a radio in the dash, we're able to tune into interesting programs and brand-new music. Some will connect with our phones, helping facilitate more contact with our loved ones.
They're designed to sacrifice themselves for us, too, long the defining attribute of a good Hollywood wingman.
When you look at it like this, how could the typical passenger vehicle be anything but fun?
Not the Mercedes-Benz Unimog, though.
From garbage disposal to firefighting to being used as a howitzer platform, since 1946 in post-war Germany Unimogs have been pushed into world to work.
Like any form of industrial machinery, the Unimog is designed around the jobs it does, not around the person sitting behind the wheel.
And when that person is sitting behind the wheel, he'd damn well better be working because the clock is ticking.
The Mercedes-Benz Unimog is everywhere, too.
They're sold to the farthest reaches of the planet, where they're prized for being able to operate in any conditions—including our living room, where a Lego version is parked.
In 1994, Mercedes-Benz realized that there was actually one place the Unimog hadn't conquered: the passenger car market.
Not in the sense of using it to take your kids to school, but in being used strictly for recreational use.
So they developed essentially what was an interior and exterior upgrade, available on U 90, U 140, U 1400, and U 1550 L models: the Funmog.
Think of them as the ultimate Super Duty King Ranch: an indestructible truck, stuffed to the gills with luxury. (And was something like what AM General had introduced two years earlier with the civilian Hummer…)
Much of the expense of a luxury car is from developing luxury features like power everything, stereos, and the like.
The Funmog received leather or cloth Recaro seats, along with a host of niceties from the S-Class, including climate control, tinted windows, power everything, Becker CD stereo, and a hands-free phone.
Outside, tubes of chrome were added everywhere, with bright white chrome wheels and body-coloured wheel centres to complete the look.
Pretty awesome, right? Must have been a smashing success… So how many Funmogs are there?
Sadly, that's about all there is to say about the Funmog: it was made, and they made 12. Doesn't deter me from wanting one, though.